I’ve been thinking a lot about happiness lately. Over the past 18 mos, my friends, my family and I have been through A LOT. Actually, my life has been A LOT (I think) and I’ve experienced some major things (major bummers) in my 38 years and yet, people, I am a truly happy person and I think what I have realized (yesterday on the Treadclimber at the gym while watching Oprah, admittedly) is that I have made the decision to be happy and I work at it every day.
I have three sisters, I am the middle child with two older and one younger. We had a fairly typical middle class upbringing. Our dad worked, our mom stayed at home, we were a close, tight-knit group and I have a lot of great childhood memories. Having said that … our dad drank a lot until I was about 12 and our parents fought A LOT. When I was 12, we moved to another town and that is about the time that our dad stopped drinking. Our parents loved us, they were good parents … questionable spouses ... but good parents. When I was 18 and a freshman in college, our dad died of heart related issues. It was sudden, it was shocking and it rocked our world. Life went on for the five of us. Last year, at 70, after some really hard health struggles, we lost our mom. I can’t speak for my sisters, but I am still dealing with it (16 mos later). I was a Mama’s Girl and I miss her terribly. It isn’t something I talk about regularly, sometimes because I feel like nobody really cares to listen (ok, that was my only pity party moment). Anywhoo … so my dad died when I was 18, my mom died last year and in between there was some other crap … 3 miscarriages, 1 ectopic pregnancy resulting in an emergency surgery just to name a few things. However, Hubby and I have Bubby and we consider ourselves extremely blessed and truthfully – he is enough.
What is my point in all this, other than to let my vast number of readers get to know me? Just that my life has not been perfect or easy or necessarily wonderful and yet I find that I am truly one of the happiest people I know. Have I mentioned that I’m not especially attractive or smart or witty (Hubby is all of those things, how did I get so lucky?). Again, average … I am decidedly average in most aspects of my life. I think the reason I am thinking/writing about this now is that currently I seem to have several very unhappy people in my life. It isn’t my place to judge them, to decide if they ‘have any reason to be unhappy’ and please understand that I am in no way a Dr. of Psychiatry, nor do I play one on tv, so I’m not questioning their emotions. I am really just sharing the epiphany ($5 word of the day!) that I had … that I WANT to be happy, I want Hubby and Bubby to be happy, and somewhere at some point I made some kind of decision that “damn it, I’m gonna be happy”.
So, there you go, universe … now I am going to post this and hide under my desk waiting for the anvil to drop out of the sky. HeeHee!
I leave you with this, my version of Happy …
Great post Lou!
ReplyDeleteBeing happy for me is a state of mind. I choose to be happy and I really am. I have great support system with my family, my friends and I get to run a blog that I love about books which I also love. It doesn't get much better than that. =)
I'm sorry to hear about your Mom, I didn't know that. You are beautiful and your personality shines like no other. I'm fortunate to have met you through books. You're wonderful!
I'm so glad you decided to start a blog. First, I've missed you! Second, I'm nosy. I want to read about everything. So keep at it. For me. :P
ReplyDeleteI think you have the right state of mind. Sometimes life sucks. It just does. It's how we deal with each bad situation that defines us. We can choose to be angry at the world, or feel sorry for ourselves, or we can decide that we're going to try to find the good in our lives and move on.
You're also one of the happiest people I know, and I'm so glad you're my friend.
I, too, am sorry about your mom. If you want to talk about it, feel free to give me a call. I've got 2 ears and both are ready to listen to you. :0)
Yep!
ReplyDeleteThanks! xoxo
Happiness is a state of a mind yet not everyone can be, whether life was tough for them or not. I'm both awed and envious when I come across those who've been through so much yet still manage to be happy. They're amazing and inspiring people...and I don't know how they -- you -- do it. I'm one of those who stress easily and in turn become unhappy just as quickly. The past (almost) two years have been especially harsh and unsettling for myself and family. There have been good moments but I have only been able to think back and remember the bad stuff. Shouldn't be like that. I'm hitting 3-0 soon and I've been told on countless occasions that I act and think like a 40/50 yr old...since I was in my early 20's. That's pretty sad. So I'm going to try my darnest to live the last year of my 20s (and forward on) as happy as can be. We'll see if I can do it. Lol.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry about your mom. Death is always hardest on those left behind.
Thanks, Tabitha, and I wish you bucketsfull of happy! xoxo
ReplyDeleteLou- You are truly one of the kindest, most compassionate and giving people that I know. If that doesn't make you extraordinarily beautiful and special, then I don't know what does.
ReplyDelete