Monday, October 31, 2011

Yoga Etiquette

I have something stuck in my craw.  I'm going to regurgitate it here, hope you don't mind.  By the way, is that a funny expression or what?  What is a craw?  The Internet tells me that this expression means that I am loath to accept something.  Sure!

Picture this, I am downward-dogging for the 10th time Thursday night and I decided that I must take to the web with some gripes about yoga.  Well more like gripes about the people that I do yoga with and the irritating things they do that make me wanna scream/puke/knock them over in a domino fashion.  Let's call this Lou's List of Yoga Bad Behaviors!

Bad Behavior Number 1 ~ Walking into class 20 minutes late.  Ahem!  Do you not see the sign on the door that reads Class In Session?  If you cannot get your arse out of bed on Saturday morning and get to class by 9 am, stay asleep.  Yes, annoying frizzy haired woman that always comes in 20 minutes late, I am talking to you.  You nearly started that domino affect I mentioned, the other day, when you walked thisclose to me the while I was struggling with my warrior three pose.  Hello, this is yoga!  I guess they are lax at my current place, 'cause I can tell you that I've been to other studios where you would have been publicly set-down and possibly flogged for ruining the yoga vibe 20 minutes into the practice.  For.  Good.  Reason. 

Bad Behavior Number 2 ~ Wearing inappropriate clothing while practicing a lot of downward dogs.  Since we're picking on frizzy haired woman, let me also inform you that she places her mat directly in front of me EVERY time and proceeds to flash her nether-regions for the next 40 minutes.  Running shorts and either skimpy or possibly no unmentionables are not appropriate yoga wear!  Again, HELLO.  Ever noticed that yoga wear is form fitting (at least the bottoms) and/or long?  For.  Good.  Reason.  I feel like I'm repeating myself ...

Bad Behavior Number 3 ~ Skipping the shower.  I'm talking for days, apparently.  Listen, people, yoga can be sweaty work (heated power, I expect some smell) BUT there is no excuse for that kind of BO that only comes from days without a shower or at least a nice sponge bath.  And that patchouli you stinkies like to use ... um, yeah, that doesn't help with the BO or the reefer odors ... just sayin.  Also, I might add ... it is usually women, truly, that reek the most.  WTH?

I could list several more, but I think those are my Top 3 at the moment.  I feel better, just putting this out into the universe ...


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